Life has been

Pretty darn trying these days... for a plethora of reasons. The is now clear and surefire way though times like this. It takes patience and perseverance of course but it's never easy when literally every step you take lands you deeper in quick sand. Bear Grylls would say the best chance you have of staying alive is to keep moving... so that we do and whether it will simply aid the quicker sinking down into the quicksand or actually get us out is not yet certain but there are simply no other alternatives to consider so on we press.

I had a lovely and amazingly helpful evening with the lovely Jacob tonight who really helped me push throught this dead spot I had in one of my paintings. I'm so greatful for his coaching and motivation as I really needed it. It's really hard to do much of anything constructive when you're exhausted and just want to collapse.

Living far away from your immediate family is always a challenge especially when you are close to them... it is becoming more poingant every day just how much having their physical presence would be such a great help. Getting away for even two days with just the two of us would b simply golden... neither of us would actually really want to go and leave the wee one but at certain times you have to start to realise that without you as a couple you will quickly cease to exist as the parents she needs and wants and you can so very easily become exes and coparents and nothing more. It's a bleak way to think of things but if you don't have balance things can go really really wrong. We're all thinking about joining the circus. I hear they've got an opening for a family tightrope act...